note to self

long enough now

long enough that i can feel your hair

against my chest

bruised fingers intertwined

delicate souls locked in a dance of 

old and burned 

and lost and found again and again.

I can’t leave just yet,

not just yet my dear.

only the tides know how long I should stay

how long how long how long 

Until the fates snip their cord

that runs the length of my entire body,

veins and arteries and the holy ghost

Singing in harmony

Chords that ring through blue-ish minds

played with ease on white and black keys

melodies that carry knives 

that kill one but not the other.

And my dear I’m sorry that other has to be you

We can be other together, but not this time.

Not this time.

I don’t know how much longer until the 

cracks turn to shards

I don’t want to feel the ice and the fire 

again 

not because of you this time

not because of

you.